February
17, 2014
[Pastorgraphs now online at ChristSD.com]
Pastorgraphs: “The Truth about Honesty”
“The
Lord hates cheating
and
delights in honesty.
Proud men end in shame,
but
the meek become wise.
A good man is guided by his honesty;
the
evil man is destroyed by his dishonesty.
Your riches won’t help you on
Judgment Day;
only
righteousness counts then.
Good people are directed by their
honesty;
the
wicked shall fall beneath their load of sins.”
(Proverbs
11:1-5)
If I ask
you to define integrity in one word, you most likely will respond with honesty.
Honesty is an important part of integrity, maybe the most important. But
integrity is more than just being honest.
I knew a
woman once who was brutally honest. She was also meaner than a snake. Along
with her bluntness, she was selfish, uncaring, arrogant, and very unhappy. She
delighted in shocking, hurting or embarrassing people with crude comments that
were both honest and cruel.
Honesty is
not just about your words. Honesty is also about your actions, motives and
habits. You must be honest at every level of your life. Honesty is about your
being; who you are at your most personal self.
So what is
honesty? Is it achievable? And how do you establish honesty in your life? I
offer the following:
Seven
Truths about Honesty
1.
Be
honest with yourself.
This is the starting point. You may tend to shade the truth about yourself,
especially when it comes to things about which you are uncomfortable, or things
that will require you to alter habits, relationships or lifestyle. When you are
less than honest with yourself, you are lying to everyone else. If being honest
with yourself gets in the way of something you want, then the TRUTH is: you are
not being HONEST. There is something liberating and empowering when you get
honest with you! As Zig Ziglar said, “You will make a lousy anybody else, but
you will be the best ‘you’ in existence.” You will never reach honesty with
others and with God until you are first honest with yourself.
2.
Be
honest with your relationships.
(friends, family, and even enemies). You may often hide the truth about
yourself so you will fit in or win the approval of others. This leads to all
kinds of dishonest behavior: such as laughing at offensive jokes; buying
clothes, cars or houses that are too expensive, just to impress your “friends”;
or compromising your principles so you will not stand out from the crowd.
Healthy relationships can only be based on honesty.
3.
Be
honest with your words. Always
speak the truth in love. Here are some guidelines to remember when using words.
a.
Words
are powerful.
God “spoke” the world into existence. Words have power to create or destroy, to
bless or curse, to hurt or heal. You should use words sparingly and wisely.
Once spoken, you can never recall a word spoken in anger, nor can you stop the
damage of a rumor or a lie. “Don’t talk so much. You keep putting your foot in
your mouth. Be sensible and turn off the flow!” (Proverbs 10:19 Living Bible)
b.
Words
are dangerous. The
Bible says we will all have to give an account of every idle word we speak.
Yikes! Plus, using one word “fool” can get you up close and personal with the
fires of hell. (see Matthew 5:22). A friend once told me, “Never pass up a good
opportunity to be quiet.” (You have the right to remain silent!) Two ears, one
mouth. That should be a clue you should listen twice as much as you speak.
c.
Words
can bless and curse.
The story of Isaac blessing his sons (Jacob and Esau) emphasizes the power of
words. Jacob tricked his father into giving him the blessing meant for Esau.
Once spoken, the blessing could not be recalled. How many parents have
pronounced curses with the words, “You will never amount to anything,” or “I’m
sorry you were ever born”. By contrast, how blessed I was to hear my father
say, “I might not have a plug nickle, but I have a million dollar family”. And
that is how your Heavenly Father feels about you!
4.
Be
honest with your beliefs. When
you are dishonest about what you believe, you fall into pretending to be
someone or something you are not. That makes it impossible to achieve wholeness
and completeness which are essential for genuine happiness (what Jesus called
“blessed” in The Beatitudes). Dr. Suess said, “Be who you are and say what you
feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
5.
Be
honest with your actions. Honesty
is not just about words. Talk is cheap. What matters is how you live and
who you are. Jesus said, “I am the Way, the TRUTH, and the Life”. His
invitation to discipleship is to follow Him in Truth as you daily walk along
the Way that leads to Life. So honesty is a virtue, something you do rather
than something you think.
6.
Be
honest in your motives.
Honesty gets to the core of your character. Your honesty (or dishonesty)
emerges from within. You do what you do because of who you are. Carl Jung, the
great psychiatrist, said: “Your vision will become clear only when you look
into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.”
7.
Be
honest with God.
This is most important. I am always amused when I hear of people who think they
are hiding something from God. Really? The God who knows the number of hairs on
your head, who notes the falling of the sparrow, who knew you before you were
conceived, who created you in His own image, who loved you so much He sent His
only Son to die for your dishonesty, and who promises you an abundant and
eternal life if you will only trust in and love Him in return; that same God
already knows everything about you. The good, the bad and the ugly. And He
loves you anyway! So be honest with Him.
I remember
a movie (Peter Sellers, I think) in which he played the role of a simple-minded
man who was mistaken for a great thinker. He was given many awards, taken to
prestigious banquets, and afforded great honors. Because he said so little, no
one discovered the mistaken identity until the end of the movie. Also, when
asked questions, he responded in profoundly simple, often one word answers,
which the press considered pure nuggets of wisdom. The moral of the story is:
“Keep your mouth shut and you might be mistaken for a genius! Open it and you
will dispel any doubts.”
Being
honest sounds like it is difficult. Actually, with practice, honesty gets
easier, and is a whole lot easier than dishonesty. As Mark Twain once said, “If
I’m honest, I don’t have to remember anything!” And once others know you to be
honest, you will be amazed at how your quality of life improves.
With God’s
help, may you find the Way, the Truth and the Life.
Devotedly
yours, Bill Jenkins
From the
Quote Garden:
“No man has a good enough memory to
make a successful liar.”
~ Abraham Lincoln ~
Christ United Methodist Ministry
Center
“Christ
in the Heart of San Diego”
3295
Meade Avenue - San Diego, CA 92116 - (619) 284-9205
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