E-Vangel Newsletter
November 26, 2012
Pastorgraphs: “Chivalry Now”
[Greetings
from Yazoo City, Mississippi. I’m winding up a wonderful extended Thanksgiving
stay in my childhood hometown with my mother, sisters, brother, relatives and
friends. I plan to be back in San Diego tomorrow. If you didn’t see it on
Facebook, here is a photo my nephew Doug took of our immediate family. Mother
is seated in the center of the front row. She turns 91 in two weeks. This is
what Thanksgiving is all about - FAMILY!]
While
preparing the character section in my integrity book, I was fortunate to
stumble upon the writings of D. Joseph Jacques. I have been unable to learn
much about him personally, but really like what he has to say. Jacques is a
student of medieval chivalry and wrote principles establishing a modern Code of
Chivalry appropriate for our times in his book, Chivalry-Now: The Code of
Male Ethics. [Disclaimer: Before you react to his emphasis upon “male
ethics”, please hear him out. He is far from sexist.] Most of what he has to
say to men applies to women as well.
Jacques
calls his modern Code of Chivalry “The Twelve Trusts”.
“Upon my
honor…
1. I will
develop my life for the greater good.
2. I will
place character above riches and concern for others above personal wealth.
3. I will
never boast but cherish humility instead.
4. I will
speak the truth at all times and forever keep my word.
5. I will
defend those who cannot defend themselves.
6. I will
honor and respect women and refute sexism in all its guises.
7. I will
uphold justice by being fair to all.
8. I will
be faithful in love and loyal in friendship.
9. I will
abhor scandal and gossip - neither partake nor delight in them.
10. I will
be generous to the poor and to those who need help.
11. I will
forgive when asked that my own mistakes will be forgiven.
12. I will
live my life of courtesy and honor from this day forward.”
Jacques
continued and listed some examples of what honor is not:
• There is
no honor in boasting and belittling other people.
• There is
no honor in dulling one’s mind and judgment with alcohol or drugs. Doing so
detracts from completeness and clarity of mind.
• There is
no honor in harming innocent people, in victimizing or controlling women, or
placing profit ahead of compassion.
• There is
no honor in telling people lies or delighting in gossip or slander.
• There is
no honor in smearing an opponent, political or otherwise, with false
allegations.
• There is
no honor in cheating or breaking promises.
• There is
no honor in complacency in the face of injustice, especially when opportunity calls
for bold action.
May I get
an “AMEN!”?
The
Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary defines chivalry as: “gallant or
distinguished gentlemen”. I see a recurring theme of chivalry, good versus
evil, in much of literature, including Star Wars. Wouldn’t it be a better world
if all people, especially men, behaved with a sense of honor, duty and courtesy
like the Knights of the Round Table?
My parents
raised me in the Southern traditions of hospitality and gentility: to open the
door for women, to be kind, fair and just, to be polite, to respect my elders,
and so on. Those character traits are another form of chivalry that sadly seems
to have passed away. It died because we quit expecting that behavior as common
etiquette.
I still
remember how foolish I felt when I held a door open for a fellow female
seminarian in Louisville in 1971. While waiting for her to walk through the
door, she lambasted me. “What, don’t you think I can open the door for myself?
You male chauvinist pig!” I am sure she was a fully liberated woman, and I
respected her right to offer an opinion on my old fashioned decorum. There have
been few times more embarrassing in my life. That was my first lesson on the
difference between chivalry and chauvinism. Like many men who learned that women
no longer expected such courtesies, I just quit doing what I had been
accustomed to do. I believe both men and women lose something important when
chivalry and politeness die.
Women are
perfectly capable of opening doors for themselves. But I believe women respect
a man with a sense of chivalry (another term for character), if she is able to
find one. And I believe that men and women can be chivalrous as Jacques
outlined in his Twelve Trusts.
May God
bless us, one and all, Brother Bill
From the Quote Garden:
“The motto of chivalry is also the
motto of wisdom; to serve all, but love only one.”
~ Honore de Balzac (Brainyquote.com)
~ Honore de Balzac (Brainyquote.com)
Christ United Methodist Ministry
Center
“Christ
in the Heart of San Diego”
3295
Meade Avenue - San Diego, CA 92116 - (619) 284-9205
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